Knowing Your Value

Lately I have been struggling with just that. I am a people pleaser, I value what people think of me, I want to be liked and accepted, even praised. I used to think that I didn't care what others thought of me, but that was just my inner rebel talking. If I were honest with myself, that is the attitude I wish I had. I wish I didn't care, I wish I were always true to myself, comfortable with being me, but I hold myself back, and I only have myself to blame. I am struggling with knowing who I am and seeing the value in it, even when others don't or even when they do, but I just don't see it myself. I thought I had my life figured out, that I knew who I was and my purpose in this world, but things change as they should and I feel insecure and a little lost. So naturally I long for my friends and family at home, who know me best, convinced that they can comfort me. But deep down I know the reality is that I have to discover and find my value, for my self and by my self....and a little help from God, ok a lot of help! 

 I found this quote a while back and I try to draw inspiration from it, "Our motive is not to prove our self-worth, but to live up to our possibilities." Unknown 

 By living up to all of the possibilities in my life that God has for me, I belive I will know my value because I am choosing to live the life Christ has for me, not the one of my choosing. And I must be holding myself back or I wouldn't feel the need to be more than I already am. I need to GROW! This is the beginning of a new journey for me and I have no idea where it will lead, I am a little scared and a little excited!

But on a lighter note,

I am going to share some of my favorite instagrams!

We are goofy...

this is how we do it!

DJ enjoying his turkey dinner.

He started to fall asleep as I was holding him.

Such a good looking pup!

Coffee dates with friends are one of my favorite things!

Better Late, Than Never

October 10th, 2009

The date of our Anniversary

This year was our 2nd year as a married couple.  I am not going to lie I was a little bummed at the coming of our anniversary, only because funds were a little tight and we had wanted to go on a trip to San Francisco. We have never been and knowing we would not be able to get away is what had me a little down. I was having a rough night at work and then I got the call from my husband. Some old coworkers from the studio he worked at in Columbus were in town and he had met up with them to catch up, he said that he had a great time and one of the guys was going to Big Bear for Octoberfest with friends and staying in a cabin…. he said there is room for us if we would like to join. I literally became as giddy as a school girl. I was itching to get away, to go somewhere and do something different. I believe I screamed yes into the phone. So what had looked like a simple anniversary night together, that turned into an anniversary weekend, it was just what I needed. Big Bear was a two hour beautiful drive, most of it in the mountains. Big Bear is literally a mountain community with a large lake in the mountains. I can't remember the elevation, but it was really high haha! It was amazing to go two hours out of LA, which was still summer weather, to the mountains where it was more like fall.

So yes, this post is a little past due but better late than never, enjoy the photos we took. Ohh and we were able to bring Turbo, he was very popular with everyone!

On the back porch of the cabin. Lens flairs anyone?

I love this picture! 

and this one...

A little glimpse of what Big Bear's town looked like.

Big Bear Lake

On the way home… we just stopped for a little sight seeing, no big deal. We aren't on the top of a mountain or anything.

My other half :)

If you did not know, DJ and I are the biggest fans of Twin Peaks the 80's drama tv series by David Lynch (one of DJ's Favorite Directors). It is a truly dramatic suspenseful story of murder and lies. It's amazing, and was cancelled way too early. Well we found Twin Peaks!! It is not where they actually filmed the show but we were excited none- the- less.

My Husband

If you have ever wondered what my husband does, he does a little bit of everything when it comes to film. He can do it all. His main interests are directing and editing and he happens to be really good at both. At the end of August he flew home to Columbus, Ohio to direct a music video for a band called the Crimson Armada. DJ was able to give the band exactly what they were looking for and it released yesterday. So here is the video DJ directed and edited and was able to pull of with the help of our good friends Joe, Joey P., Josh, Adam and others.

 Little known fact: DJ loves goats…. haha.

He also put himself in the video, see if you can spot where he is.

Remember when I told you we went to our first red carpet premiere for Destenee, well here is our picture!

There is that peace sign yet again, lol!

It was so hot under all of those lights!

iPad!!

So the other night DJ was opening his mail he pulls out a check and says to me, "wanna go get an iPad? I think they are still open." As you might remember our laptop wasn't doing very well. Well it is completely gone, which means I am out of my unlimited Internet time. With DJ's job, he is very rarely off our desktop. We had talked about getting an iPad so I can have most of the functions of a laptop without the new laptop price, so when he asked if I wanted to get it that night, I could hardly say no! I am hoping I can blog more, using my iPad, and take advantage of the apps. I am very blessed, I told him to consider it an early Anniversary present, bc even though It will be ours, it will be basically mine like the desktop is basically DJs. (his words not mine!)



Apple Store at the Grove


Extremely excited!


I love my lil man! Photo taken with my iPad.

This might take me a little time to adjust to blogging from my iPad, for example I can't figure out how to resize the photos or add captions. So my posts will be works in progress, as I problem solve these problems. Thanks for reading!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Family

To Family...

Can you believe it!?! Emerson James Wonderly has made his entrance into this world. Everything went smoothly and mommy and baby are home already.  He is adorable and I can't wait to hug and squeeze him!

Congrats to proud Mom and Dad, you did it again! And to Aidan, his big sister, I know she is busting with pride!

This post is dedicated to family because much has happened recently. My Dad has a recent health scare. He was admitted to the Hospital with clots in both lungs and one in his leg, which can be life threatening if the clots get loose. But God is good and they discovered the cause of all of his symptoms before it was too late, he was released and able to see his first Grandson! PTL (praise the Lord), as my Mom would say, lol.

There have also been some terrible loses on the Cosgrove side of the family, between an unexpected death and a suicide. Lots of prayer and love their way as they are still healing and dealing with these sudden loses.

I am always reminded that amongst tragedy there is hope, love and unity. It can remind you about what is good in this world and all that we have to be thankful for. 

So I am going to share some recent pictures of our family because family is what I am thankful for. During DJ's last rip back to Ohio, he was able to make our nephew Cash's 5th Birthday party at Chuckie Cheese, and these are some of the photos he took.

Happy Birthday Cash

Look at those eyes, are you not jealous of those lashes!?

Momma and Son

Teeny and Nevaeh!

Such a silly girl!

Grandpa Dave!

I recently went with DJ to some trails and photographed the occassion. All photos to follow, are taken and edited by yours truly.

Here is our little family and our adventures.

DJ getting ready

Turbo couldn't get enough, he watched DJ ride so intently.

Sitting and watching

I am still learning settings, I couldn't figure out the motion settings obviously. Next time!

Turbo by the Trails

After eating some bark on the ground, and me scolding him for doing so, lol

Always watching

Roots

I hope you enjoyed this post! 

Much Love.

Turn It Up!

If you know much about me, I am not always the most outgoing person. It's hard for me to come out of my shell when I am in situations/environments that I am not comfortable in. I am not a big dancer either, you might say that I don't have any rhythm. I am one of those who likes to jump to music, I can't "bust a move" for the life of me. So when DJ and I were invited to a video release party for a music video that DJ edited, I was really apprehensive, it was a red carpet affair at a club in Hollywood, called Eden.  But we did go with our friend Joe Lombardi (who shot the video) and his Mom and we had a lot of fun. We had our picture taken on the red carpet, we had a few drinks (which cost an arm and a leg), watched at fashion show and saw Destenee perform her single. All the while the video DJ and Joe worked on was projected on a wall throughout the whole night. So here is the video that they helped Destenee with, watch it and give her some love. She really is a sweetheart and I wish her loads of success!

Destenee Mckenzie, Turn It Up

Ohh and I forgot to mention in my last post that Alesha and I got together and we made Harry Potter apple pie, yeah you read that right. Harry Potter Apple Pie. Alesha has the Harry Potter cookbook full of yummy recipes. And it was ohhh sooo goood!
Here is the last bit of evidence to prove that it existed!
Lets just say that it didn't last long…

So...

...our laptop started acting up again, leaving me with limited internet time once again. And this time according to Apple we are going to need a new computer. They are going to replace the mother board again, it will work for a little bit but will eventually need replaced. Great. Eventually we might be able to afford that, although not at this moment. I am thankful that we at least have a desktop. It means even more saving lol. We recently had to pay almost $3,000 to have our Mini Cooper repaired. Apparently our extended warranty didn't cover the airbag malfunction light that came on the week after we got the car or the fact that sometimes of seatbelt would lock up. So we are trying to replenish our savings. With all of this happening I am not worried I know God will provide, I just need to have better self control when it come to my spending habits lol (aka shopping). 

I have been seeing loads of status' on Facebook about the coming of autumn to Ohio and I am so madly jealous. We are just now getting into our "summer" weather with temperatures over 100 degrees and it will last through October. Fall is my favorite season and there really isn't a fall here, bummer. I so miss all of the seasons! 

Good news! Our flights are booked for coming home for the Holidays! We will be leaving LAX on December 28th and staying until January 11th! We are so excited and I do hope I get to see some snow! We will get to spend a week and a half with all our family and friends, and I will finally get to see my new nephew Emerson James Wonderly!!! You would not even believe our surprise that my sister was having a baby boy. We all thought for sure that the baby would be a girl, thinking she would be just like our mom who had four girls before she was blessed with her one boy. He is scheduled to be "evicted"(as my brother in law says) out of the womb this coming Sunday! I am only slightly ecstatic and wish I could be there to met his precious face, but it will have to wait. 

I will be trying harder to keep you posted with what is happening of this end of the world. I still haven't even touched DJ's camera though, I need to get on that. Any ways I am posting some fun pics of the cutest dog in the world, that's right it happens to none other than our dog Turbo!

I mean look at that face, you can't deny that he is adorable!

And then there is DJ always doing something to the poor guy...

Please ignore any bad grammar or misspellings, I never promised I was a natural at this and for whatever reason I can't seem to type today. So don't be annoyed and good night!